chivalread | INBOX ↣ FELLDEN

[ It's been a blur since then. Mustering the dwindling remnants of energy to go out and assist more people, the truly stubborn ones who kept fighting and fighting and going back out to fight some more. Mercedes doesn't quite find it frustrating at this point, only wishing that her own abilities would settle back beneath her skin as comfortably as they once had. That her efforts wouldn't drain her as much as they have.

But that's a thought and a sigh for later. The worst has passed. For now, she puts herself to the task of locating Ashe-- for many reasons, truly, but largely because she wants to check on him. He isn't in the kitchens, nor can he be found after a thorough sweep of the library, and now she stands before his door, knocking her knuckles against it politely. ]

Ashe? Are you in?

[ The last few days have been a whirlwind of activity. Fighting and planning and securing and escorting. Ashe is used to the trials of war, used to long marches and even longer battles. Harsh conditions and daunting enemies. But having to deal with all that while terrified to his very bones has drained him more than even he realized.

The very moment the threat abated and they were allowed a few seconds to breathe, exhaustion hit him hard and he dropped fully clothed into bed like a lead weight, not rising until well in the afternoon the next day. As it is, he’s still kind of sluggish, still kind of hurting, so he hasn’t made it far out of his room.

He didn’t expect anyone to come looking for him, but it would be Mercedes of all people to show up at his door. ]

Yeah. It’s open.

[ The door opens, then, and Mercedes pokes her head in-- and, of course, brightens at the sight of him. ]

I'm sorry, I hope I'm not bothering you... I just wanted to see how you were doing. Does anything still hurt? Do you need to talk about anything? Are you hungry?

[ Many questions. ]

[ Ashe’s room doesn’t look much different from his room back at Garreg Mach – which is to say, there are already books everywhere. His bow and quiver sit propped against his bed, while his coat and the sweater he wears beneath it (both still ruined, still blood-stained) have been tossed haphazardly over a chair. Ashe himself has finally seen fit to change into loose-fitting clothes for sleeping, though he has been awake for a while now, sitting up in bed with a book.

He glances up from the tome as Mercedes enters. There’s still a weariness that seems to permeate his very being, but he smiles warmly at her all the same. ]

You’re not a bother Mercedes. [ Even with that bombardment of questions, which he answers in order: ] My side still aches every now and again, but it’s nothing I can’t handle. I’m not really sure that I have much to talk about, and… now that I think about it, I am pretty hungry.

[ This is... so very much like him, though she can't help but frown slightly at the blood-stained and torn clothes draped over a chair. It's a reminder, and one she can't help but feel slightly bad about, even if she knows avoiding injury altogether was going to be next to impossible.

Well, he's... improving, if nothing else, so Mercedes smiles back and perches on the side of the bed. ]

How about this, then? We can do a quick round of healing to ease some of that ache, and spend some time in the kitchen together. If you're up for it after eating something, Dante did finally tell me what pepperoni was.

[ He keeps meaning to get his ruined clothes to the Court’s staff, but he still feels a bit bad for making them deal with it. He got himself – and Mercedes and Dimitri – into that whole mess with the fury, and some torn and stained clothing are a small price to pay. ]

Peppero—? Oh! For the pitsa? I think that would be a great project!

[ A pause, as he looks her over ]

Just promise me you’re not straining yourself when it come to healing, okay? I can handle a little ache so there’s no need to push yourself.

I promise I'm not straining myself. [ She says it dutifully, with a hint of a laugh in her tone. ] I've had plenty of time to rest, so right now, I want to do what I can for my friends.

And if we're about to embark on a project, then I need my cooking partner in proper shape! It's rather selfish of me, I know.

[ He gives her another look over. Not because he doesn’t trust her, but rather because he knows how all of them can be. “I’m fine, just a little further” may as well be the class motto for the Blue Lions, after all, but he’s pleased to see that she doesn’t seem to be any worse for wear. Weary, perhaps, but they all are. It’s been a harrowing few days. ]

When you put it like that, how can I refuse?

[ Swinging his legs over the edge of the bed, he sets his book atop the pile of tomes on his bedside table. ]

Where do you want me?

Where you are is fine. Here--

[ And she extends her hand, letting the healing spell kick in without a word, working to ease some of that tightness and the ache that's been making him move so gingerly. ]

Really, you know if you're in any pain at all, you can always talk to me.

[ Except again, the Blue Lions are a bunch of determinators who hate admitting when they need help for multiple reasons. ]

[ As much as he’d like to put on a tough front, pretend that the wound slowly healing under the bandages around his middle doesn’t twinge and bother him when he moves too quickly or breathes too deeply, that sort of acting has never been his strong suit. The instant Mercedes’ all-too familiar healing spell seeps into his skin, warming away the ache, he lets out a little sigh of relief. ]

I know that, but I don’t want to be a burden.

[ It’s his own fault that he’s hurt like this, which would be one thing, but he also caused Mercedes and Dimitri to be hurt as well. They can tell him it’s fine all they like, but there’s a part of him that might never be able to let that go. ]

How’s your shoulder?

As good as new!

[ To prove her point, she gives her shoulder a solid pat once she's done tending to Ashe's wound. ]

Just like it never happened, really. Except for the tears in my sleeve, so I'll still need to sew them...

[ But then Mercedes leans closer, giving Ashe a solemn frown. ]

You do know I'd never consider you a burden, don't you?

I'm glad to hear it.

[ Some tension that has nothing to do with his wound eases out of him, a worry he didn't realize he'd been harboring now let go.

But then Mercedes is really close. Ashe's eyes go wide in confusion, and he leans back a smidge. ]

I... I know. I'm sorry. I guess the last few days have me feeling kind of... doubtful. Like maybe I'm not cut out for knighthood after all.

[ Upon realizing that she's probably invading his personal space (in no part due to the fact that he's definitely inching back a bit), Mercedes also leans back. She's still frowning, though there's a tinge of something pensive to her expression now. ]

... Ashe, if you don't mind my asking... what do you think a knight is?

[ He doesn’t know what to make of the look on her face, and for a second he wonders if perhaps he’s said something wrong. ]

Um. Someone brave and kind, who always does what’s right no matter what. A defender of the weak.

[ There’s no room for cowardice there, he thinks. The knights in his stories would have never run with their tails between their legs to hide in a shed. ]

Oh, Ashe...

[ There's something soft and sad in Mercedes' gaze as she listens, looks him over. Why can't he see it? After everything, the times they'd fought together, surely he must realize it--!

So she rests a hand on his shoulder, carefully shaking her head. ]

Didn't you act to shield me against the debris when the Fury attacked? Despite your... problems with ghosts, didn't you work with us to help bring it down? You didn't hesitate at all when it came to helping people, Ashe.

Mercedes…

[ It’s so very easy to look back on those moments and remember only the fear, all-encompassing as it had been. He hadn’t acted out of bravery to shield her, only concern, and it felt more like desperation that guided him to nock an arrow to his bow and fire at the thing in the dark.

But Mercedes offers him a new perspective on the matter. No matter what, he’d helped, and he’d done so without succumbing to the very real urge to run and hide yet again. ]

Do you really think I was brave back there? I sure didn’t feel like I was.

Of course I do! Truthfully, I think that the bravest moments are when we're so scared we can hardly think straight but we act anyway.

[ And he certainly had done that, shielding Mercedes, stumbling through the darkness with injuries to help them in the fight... regardless of what he thinks, she knows better. ]

You were amazing, Ashe.

[ That’s a good point, and one that he ought to keep in mind. It’s easy to write a story, to make the hero fearless and strong, but real life is so very different. How many of the people in his tales had been shaking in their boots when the time came to act? Probably a lot more of them than the stories would suggest. ]

… Thank you, Mercedes. I really am sorry you landed in that mess in the first place, but… I’m glad we all came out of it okay.

We work well together, after all.

[ She says it softly, calmly. It's the truth, as far as she's concerned. ]

We'll be prepared for any future encounters, I'm sure of it. But when they happen... please try to keep in mind that none of us are truly feeling fearless when we fight.

Thanks.

[ He said that already, but it probably bears repeating. ]

I needed that. And thank you for the healing, too. I feel better already.

Of course! Then, should we get started on finding some food for you and complete your state?

[ Before Ashe can properly answer, his stomach does it for him, giving a loud growl that has him starting a little. ]

… I think that’s a yes.

... Goodness! Then I think it's about time we get you out of here.

[ His poor stomach. ]

Yes, please.

[ He’s so embarrassed! Betrayed by his own stomach!! ]

Besides, I think I’ve been cooped up enough as it is.

I'd have to agree. Your room was actually the last place I would have thought to look to find you. You're usually so active and out and about.

Yeah, I guess all the commotion wore me out worse than I thought it would.

[ Amazing what spending actual days in a row being terrified will do to a person. ]

It looks like you fared a lot better than I did.

INBOX ↣ FELLDEN

post-october event, action

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